Okay!
So I haven't written for awhile. I know this is as disastrous as these situations can be right. Iv recently started a new job, and am having a wonderful amazing year. I did promise myself that this would be my year, and bam it is. The funny thing not everyone is on par with the success I am having the fact that I am finally doing well on my own. Iv let go 99% of the crutches and can stand on my own. Something Id expect people close to me to be pleased about? Not so. I'm not saying I'm expecting flowers every morning, and congratulation cards every months, but is it to selfish to ask for a well done, or a I'm proud of you? Seems so. When I realized this I guess I stopped expecting it, and moved on. I didn't expect it to put another nail in the proverbial coffin as to say.
People make mistakes, they learn and grow from these mistakes, well if they want to that is. I can't even begin to tell you how much of a mess the last 3 years of my life have been, and I'm willing to admit that 60% of the shit has been my own doing. The fact that I am open to admitting such and being honest about it, is a huge step for me. I'm not proud but I am honest and proud to be honest. And that is currently eating away at some people for what reason I have no idea. I guess sometimes, the crutches need the dependents more then the dependents realize they need them? Sorry for the tongue twister, I've been reading a lot of Nietzsche's work lately. A great man he was. Such a diabolical mind.
I mean really? A man with a stache like that, how can he not be that awesome?
This week has been rather emotional for me, emotions I am not generally used to. Realizing that I have to stand up to the one person who I have always backed down to. Realizing that for once I have to say what I have to, I have to do what I have to and I have to do it now. For once I am 100% innocent, not until proven guilty because there is no guilt in which to prove. Its funny how the more innocent you are the harder it is to fight the accusers? I would have thought that the light would immediately set you free. Not so much. Iv had to make one of those choices those very difficult choices, to stick to my guns for once in a while and unfortunately the people who have taught me that lesson are the people I am now currently going head to head with in a battle where no man, shall surrender. It's so pathetic. Pack away your pride your arrogance, your hate and admit, that you are wrong, you made a mistake as people do, you are human. Is it really that hard to let your name drop a notch, to prove to someone that you are possible of thinking of someone else rather than your own self?
Just a question I pose.......
Peace
xoxo
So I haven't written for awhile. I know this is as disastrous as these situations can be right. Iv recently started a new job, and am having a wonderful amazing year. I did promise myself that this would be my year, and bam it is. The funny thing not everyone is on par with the success I am having the fact that I am finally doing well on my own. Iv let go 99% of the crutches and can stand on my own. Something Id expect people close to me to be pleased about? Not so. I'm not saying I'm expecting flowers every morning, and congratulation cards every months, but is it to selfish to ask for a well done, or a I'm proud of you? Seems so. When I realized this I guess I stopped expecting it, and moved on. I didn't expect it to put another nail in the proverbial coffin as to say.
People make mistakes, they learn and grow from these mistakes, well if they want to that is. I can't even begin to tell you how much of a mess the last 3 years of my life have been, and I'm willing to admit that 60% of the shit has been my own doing. The fact that I am open to admitting such and being honest about it, is a huge step for me. I'm not proud but I am honest and proud to be honest. And that is currently eating away at some people for what reason I have no idea. I guess sometimes, the crutches need the dependents more then the dependents realize they need them? Sorry for the tongue twister, I've been reading a lot of Nietzsche's work lately. A great man he was. Such a diabolical mind.
I mean really? A man with a stache like that, how can he not be that awesome?
This week has been rather emotional for me, emotions I am not generally used to. Realizing that I have to stand up to the one person who I have always backed down to. Realizing that for once I have to say what I have to, I have to do what I have to and I have to do it now. For once I am 100% innocent, not until proven guilty because there is no guilt in which to prove. Its funny how the more innocent you are the harder it is to fight the accusers? I would have thought that the light would immediately set you free. Not so much. Iv had to make one of those choices those very difficult choices, to stick to my guns for once in a while and unfortunately the people who have taught me that lesson are the people I am now currently going head to head with in a battle where no man, shall surrender. It's so pathetic. Pack away your pride your arrogance, your hate and admit, that you are wrong, you made a mistake as people do, you are human. Is it really that hard to let your name drop a notch, to prove to someone that you are possible of thinking of someone else rather than your own self?
Just a question I pose.......
Peace
xoxo
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