The Final Countdown

And so there I sat, well technically lay. On my bed. I had three painful hours to get through, but knew that even if I stopped watching the clock, my internal would not let me sleep. It’s a weird tradition, a strange event, an unusual feeling that happens to me once a year. It takes me back to being a kid and it brings back the memories of every passed year in which the same order of events have occurred.

As routine has now become I was listening to the local radio station. The last thing I expected was for the radio DJ to announce my name and wish me a pre-Happy Birthday. That was pretty cool even in my books, and yet I still have to wonder which of my friends, reminded them of the day I look forward to the most. My birthday.

I look forward to this day for some odd reason more than I look forward to anything else, sometimes I think it’s because of the attention I am allowed to claim or the fact that it’s my special day and no one else’s, like the right or deeds of night and day for 24 hours have been given solely to me, and in these 24hours I rule the realm in which we live. It is a good feeling.

Anyways so this year, obviously I’ve been so busy with work, I just didn’t plan anything; I also am so broke that planning anything would have been pointless. And so my housemates decided to plan for me. They had a bring and braai birthday celebration for me, on the evening of my birthday. It was amazing. There was good food, good people and many great memories made. And on top of it I got to play with a chameleon, a pregnant one who decided crawling all over me was not such a dangerous feat and that it would do so for a short period of time.

 It made my evening

Such a beautiful creature. I have never held one before, I am not even sure I’ve seen one in real life, even though there are many living on the tree’s surrounding our house here on the game reserve. But it just spoke to me, and it wasn’t threatened and I didn’t feel in danger so we bonded pretty quickly. It is a pity you can’t keep them as pets.

In other news, I have wedding’s coming out of my ears. We did one for almost 400pax that went as well as can be expected when:

-The guest list is composed of names like: Gogo 1, 2 and 3.

- When the groom and bride can’t make up their minds on whether they’re getting married or not, and where?

- When almost 400pax sneak in booze to the event and you’re left wondering how they got through security and what to do with at least 120 seriously drunk people?

So yes, it went as well as can be expected in such a situation.

This passed wedding however a day ago, was amazing! It was beautiful. The bride and groom were amazing, the guests were so joyful and helpful, excited and on top of things. It was only for 71pax, but it just ran with such ease, such confidence, such greatness. I loved it. The bride looked amazing, the flowers we’re beautiful, her colors were basically bush and brown tones and burn’t orange and when done well it works well. 

 Something along the lines of this.

So right now, I am drowning in people getting married, over time, work politics and that about sums it up! I will write soon, to catch everyone up on everything that’s been going on. It’s been an amazing ride so far!

Peace

XOXO

Another Long Walk to Freedom.....

Okay! 

So I haven't written for awhile. I know this is as disastrous as these situations can be right. Iv recently started a new job, and am having a wonderful amazing year. I did promise myself that this would be my year, and bam it is. The funny thing not everyone is on par with the success I am having the fact that I am finally doing well on my own. Iv let go 99% of the crutches and can stand on my own. Something Id expect people close to me to be pleased about? Not so. I'm not saying I'm expecting flowers every morning, and congratulation cards every months, but is it to selfish to ask for a well done, or a I'm proud of you? Seems so. When I realized this I guess I stopped expecting it, and moved on. I didn't expect it to put another nail in the proverbial coffin as to say.

People make mistakes, they learn and grow from these mistakes, well if they want to that is. I can't even begin to tell you how much of a mess the last 3 years of my life have been, and I'm willing to admit that 60% of the shit has been my own doing. The fact that I am open to admitting such and being honest about it, is a huge step for me. I'm not proud but I am honest and proud to be honest. And that is currently eating away at some people for what reason I have no idea. I guess sometimes, the crutches need the dependents more then the dependents realize they need them? Sorry for the tongue twister, I've been reading a lot of Nietzsche's work lately. A great man he was. Such a diabolical mind.

I mean really? A man with a stache like that, how can he not be that awesome?

This week has been rather emotional for me, emotions I am not generally used to. Realizing that I have to stand up to the one person who I have always backed down to. Realizing that for once I have to say what I have to, I have to do what I have to and I have to do it now. For once I am 100% innocent, not until proven guilty because there is no guilt in which to prove. Its funny how the more innocent you are the harder it is to fight the accusers? I would have thought that the light would immediately set you free. Not so much. Iv had to make one of those choices those very difficult choices, to stick to my guns for once in a while and unfortunately the people who have taught me that lesson are the people I am now currently going head to head with in a battle where no man, shall surrender. It's so pathetic. Pack away your pride your arrogance, your hate and admit, that you are wrong, you made a mistake as people do, you are human. Is it really that hard to let your name drop a notch, to prove to someone that you are possible of thinking of someone else rather than your own self?

Just a question I pose.......
Peace
xoxo

Sidewalk Egg kinda Christmas Heat

And now you're probably wondering what the hell that title is about?
Simply. Its so hot right now that you could literally cook and egg on the tar outside.

Yesterday when we were travelling around, we noticed that it was 34 c outside. Which wasn't so bad if you moved incredibly slowly. Which we all did in the end as we decided that the gods were telling us, laying on our beds under air-con and watching TV while sipping juice was exactly how we should have spent our day. We of course never wanting to upset the higher authority did just that. Okay so our interpretation may have been a little off track but, life is what you make it,isn't that the general idea?

So today when waking up, I noticed that the sky looked a cooler shade of blue. If anyone's brain could and can talk absolute shit, its mine. A cooler shade of blue? That is about as logical as Charlie Sheen helping out Lindsay Lohan. We all know how that ended. So after a shower with a gheko ( he wouldn't get out the dam shower and well, I couldn't pick him up, so we came to an arrangement where he would stay in one corner while I showered while trying to avoid getting him wet) I decided to venture into the open space. A regret I am yet to forgive myself for. My godfather asked me to go to the shops with him, I casually picked up my sun glassed jumped in the car and off we went. 5 minutes later, I looked like I was running against Usain Bolt ( the Christmas shopping mall version ) where your prize is not a gold medal, but possibly a bottle of water..iced if you beat him by a long shot. Lets just say I had my war mask on and my battle rage was flaring by the time we got to the till. My godfather is a laugh through, he could see I was uncomfortable so he started making jokes with the people around us, and eventually got to the point where he decided to jump in the cool drinks freezer. Reminding me of when Arnold was the Ice Man.

Yes, my godfather jumped inside the cool drinks fridge in the middle of the shopping center  needless to say everyone was in tears as they were laughing so hard. I think everyone needed it, we were wall to wall people packed like a tin of sardines, between the mixture of split  broken items, over greased food, drunk people, and body odour,  at one point I was starting to resemble Patrick Bateman  except I wasn't quite doing this:

Close but not quite.

Well, I have cooled now, and Iv had a wonderful sandwich for lunch, and I think I am going to dip in the pool again. Maybe take a spritzer with me pool side and try not to turn into a burnt tomato.:-)

Have a Merry Christmas all and a Happy New Year.

xoxo.

Silly season? What silly season?

So it has begun.

The silly season has made it way into our shops, into our homes, schools and every crevice it so see fit. Of course this also means the pressure on buying gifts, the busy malls, the family tensions, the over eating and the traffic jams have to begun.

Iv been thinking a lot about Christmas, this year. In fact I haven't been in my home country or near family for the last Christmas or two. I know what Christmas is supposed to mean and what it used to represent but the evident truth is we are no longer in Kansas Dorothy. All I wanted the last few Christmas's I have been alone is to be with family on that one particular day. To just spend time with them, that is what I missed most. Not gifts, not being broke, not stressing about impressing or feeling pressured about something I shouldn't, nope, All I missed was my family and their company. Their smiles,their laughs their stories from the year passed and maybe Christmas pudding. I have decided that I personally do not want to do the every year Christmas this year. I do not want presents. I honestly do not, I personally feel that gifts have gotten outrageous and expectant and cause financial problems you don't have to have. I feel if I want to give you a gift I will, any time of the year, the fact that everyone is throwing gifts at you for what has become more of a social tradition does not mean I have to.

I know its harsh to say, I know kids don't understand it. Unfortunately this time of year is where many are either jobless or broke, or going through big changes either from the past year or the coming future and this crazy build up, this social standard this media frenzied month has just gotten out of control. I want to focus on me right now, exactly what I need to do, and I do not want to be lead off track because Iv put stress on myself to do something I no longer believe in? Your friends and family will far more appreciate seeing you be successful in the future, being happy and striving for your goal rather than suffering.

The truth is putting in the extra time at this time of year, makes you look good at work. The truth is working those extra shifts and or overtime brings in that extra new year cash,which you're going to need. The truth is, well to be honest, its better to holiday mid year anyways rather than being stuck in malls, with screaming kids, and trying to buy everyday products at their marked up prices, the truth is, you can get that much more done career wise...now.

I myself am hoping to start work asap. I have also realized that I have finally found somewhere I like being. I recently returned to my home town for a few things, and then when I got their I realized that no.1 I didn't really need all the things Id gone down for, so I ended up not getting 80% of the stuff. no.2 I liked seeing 2 out of the few people I did see, and even then those few were selectively chosen. And the ones that didn't make the short list, well cheerios to them too. I know. I sound terrible. I sound like a bitter old frump. Fact is, Iv managed to step over, or if we really want to sound obnoxious  Iv been through enough and had the guidance of the wisest which has enabled me to step over all the bullshit and possibly skip anymore of the shit, we either put up with or put ourselves through.


Think about it, think about your parents or your friends parents or anyone's parents for that matter. Having made the assumption that you are not a billionaires son or daughter and you didn't go up with constant dinners parties and corporate events being thrown every week at the mansion, answer me this question: How many friends do your parents still have? Real friends? People that know exactly whats going on in their lives, how the kids are, how their parents are? What their loves and loathes are? Someone who can tell when things don't sit right just by picking up the phone? Someone who comes over and brings your mom a bag of chocolates when she;s feeling down?

The answer to that question may be, 1 or 2 or in a very rare case a few. The reason for that is because as we grow as a society and as we grow as humans, the paths our lives take, the choices we make, the things we believe in, the people we love, the values we hold dear, those things all grow with us, and change as we do, and eventually people start drifting and often enough, when you start drifting for those reasons, well it usually doesn't make sense to try and save a friendship with that person. You start believing in yourself more as you get older, I know its a shame, really I could have done with this confidence when I was much younger, I know just that small difference could have changed the path of my life. However here I am now, with it. All of it. The CC Aniqu A Nay Nay ( my ghetto name ) of the world is out, loud and proud and thunder thighing her way down funky town to paint the town Green. This is not a sudden realization, its something I have always dealt with my entire life, fitting in, not fitting in, and all sorts of cliches you can imagine. Iv just come to the point now where I am like, um hey, how you, if you want to be my friend and you want to be in my life then cool,I expect mutual respect, support and plenty laughs, I'll be there for your tears too. However that's all. And I expect interaction. Not a Facebook poke, not an email once every 6 months  I expect you to pick up the phone at least and ask me how I am doing. Those are my terms and conditions. I deserve them and so do you if you value who you are and who you share your life with. I am old enough to make my own decisions and my own choices in life. All I ask is you stand by me. Not inform your beliefs and your opinions on me, if I don't ask for them. And I will do the same. The only time anyone has the right to do that is when their decisions and their actions start affecting you and your life dangerously or unfairly.

Its quite funny, along with my thunder thighing business, Iv discovered I quite like my thighs an so should everyone else. The bikini is not so much for me anymore, but I am working on keeping fit, not many actually know exactly just how close the lines are between fit,fat, and built. I have been granted with huge thighs,they need toning, but I can tell you now, I can kick anyone or anything hard enough to dam well do some major damage, I can carry twice my body weight in my legs alone due to the strength built within them over the years and hard work put into them. My stomach is no longer flat, but it doesn't wobbly and if it did so what, as long as my cholesterol was okay then so be it, lemme wobbly on down to the doughnut shop while I'm at it.








We were not all born in the same gene pool, we were not all born out of the same womb. And even if were were there would be no gaurentee we would all be the same.

 Dear woman: BE YOURSELVES...............PLEASE. I am so sick and tired of people putting themselves down over absolutely nothing, or people judging people. What kind of person are you, when you get joy or feel the right to judge over someone else especially someone you don't know. I often have to stop myself and I make an effort to do so. I'll be walking in the store and turn to look at someone, sometimes an innocent thought will pop into my head and I'll say something like: Wow she obviously woke up with no mirrors in her closest. How DARE I judge her. Who am I? It annoys me when people say things to me like that so how dare I do it to some one else, what an hypocritical action.

Please if you want to wear one green shoe and one purple go ahead, life's to short and if it brings a smile to your face or makes you happy every time you look down, then so be it. I wear lumo every chance I get, I wear ties and long sleeves on hot sunny days, and I def should not wear the shorts I do, but It makes me happy and it makes me smile and there is nothing else in this world that could replace my joy or yours. There is way to much sadness, war, poverty and death for pettiness like so.

Well those are the things on my mind, for this afternoon at least. I hope to write again tomorrow to tell you about all the funny and wonderful things that have happened this week, as there are plenty.

Mwah Big hugs and kisses, Peace!

Royal Babies, Arab Adventures and A life's worth of Sushi

Like sand through hourglass, so are the days of my life. No I am not watching an episode of Days Of Our Lives, nor have I watched an episode for the last couple years. Possibly since childhood. It does not really make a difference either way, I discovered years ago you could walk in days, weeks, months, even years later on an episode and know exactly what was going on.

However that is not the reason I myself as Stefano Di Mera would say have risen from the ashes like the Phoenix. Nope I am here out of a pure stroke of wow. I call it wow because I happened to stumble upon this blog account which I opened many many months ago, and the first page was the address of a very deeply missed and long lost colleague I had been trying to hunt down for months.My reaction being nothing but? You guessed it. Wow. I have thousands of post's of he's to catch up on reading but just the basic fact that I get to contact him is the best news I have probably received this year at this rate. And no I am not mistaken I literally mean this year and yes, I know its is only a few days until the year is over. Puts thing's into perspective for you. You're going to need a lot of perspective.

I cant even remember where I left you guys last or if I left you anywhere at all? I cant seem to find any previous posts from myself on this blog, but then again I cant find my toothbrush in the morning half the time, not due to lack of organisation but pure over sight. I am sure the odd link or button I am supposed to be clicking is hiding just out of my sight, or more typically right in front of my nose. Well where should I start? I left Abu Dhabi in the end, it just got to pathetic that It was stay and start loosing what you know, start loosing your fighting power, your drive your determination? Or leave. I left. It was good. I won't go into much detail but even after returning to my beautiful country, I once again was tricked by the glitz glamour and offer of a wondrous life, and returned to Dubai.....................that was a joke. You know when you're in court and the judges and the other assistance cant even find the location of your company for over 4 hours that you signed up to a frot deal.

I ventured down to Cape Town when I returned, but way to quickly. I wasn't paying mental attention to what I should have been back round checking a hundred times over and got into a pretty bad situation. I refuse to go into any detail on that note but lets just say, I should be in therapy and probably based in an unknown location for a few months maybe even a year. The unknown location things is for my safety of course, paranoia is a very very scary thing and if you've experienced it on a drugged level, you never go back, its impossible to go back, to un see things to un hear things. You get yourself through it,while you're going through it and you maintain yourself after it, but sooner or later you're going to split right down teh middle and there is no telling when or where that will happen.
However we move on, and we carry on, I have done that since the day I was born literally and I guess I was just born for it.

So onto more mundane topics, yet of course wrapped in the babble version of English I dearly love to use here,what else is happening in this realm we live in.

1. The royals. ( I say The so that when I group them together like that the word alone should make more of an impact on your mind when reading the line, rather then just ol' Kate and Will from next door). And so, The Royals have made an annoucment  why they felt they had to with all the constant media speculation, constantly stalking dear o'l Kate and fake photo shopped baby photos I am sure she could have popped on out by now, just by sheer will. I guess in a way she has popped out a baby already, a media spawn that will continue to grow along with the unborn child ( or children according to your local tabloid ) that lay's within her womb. I for one have come to a form of peace by willing their offspring to be a ginger ninja. Yes I want the reddest hair and freckles as the cherries on top. And that's not an offence, well it could unsettle a few bodies but I am certainly a red haired/ginger and strawberry blonde supporter.

Above: A rather extreme example.......I guess.....

2. I need sushi. I know not as startling as my 1st opener but, its rather important to my stomach at the moment. I have been craving sushi for about 3 months now, without even 1 single Wahhabi dipped salmon avo roll. I have been invited to a sushi dinner this coming week, so I am more then eager for the days to start passing by, anything that gets me closer to putting a roll ( or 6 ) of sushi into my mouth. I could easily over eat on sushi. I have been paying a lot more attention to my taste buds and eating habits of late. According to the scale the weight I lost has stayed off, and according to some badly placed mirrors ( more like reflections ) it is actually staying off, but I am also toning up. Its a LONG.....SLOW.... process but its happening, yay for me. What I was focusing on recently is how some people as adults do a 180 when it comes to taste buds and likes and textures in which they favor when it comes to food and drink, and how some never change at all. I guess at the end of the day there are other factors that play major roles in what makes your change or not. I myself an ex smoker, can now taste everything with a much sharper palette therefore some things taste different. This is only 1 example of a changing factor and there are so many to choose from. I used to hate olives and egg yellows, as a child, now I could not even see myself refusing either for anything on this planet, we all know the best way to eat chips ( fries ) is when they're dipped in egg yolk. Enough with the food I am getting super snackish.

Above: An example of all the sushi I want in my tummy...someone feed me sushi!

3. Animals? An abundance of them. I have seen more Rhino, Lions, Buffalo, Wildebeest  Elephants, Leopards and birds and Hippo and Crocodile then I have in my entire life span. It was literally my 1st leopard sighting a few days ago. And my 1st real life Lion sighting a few days before that ranging from cub to alpha male and in between and female. And a few days after the Lion I saw my 1st hippo's and then some more yesterday. We actually have the beautiful gift of being able to see these stunning animals on a daily basis if we wanted and we do every chance we get. Now let my clarify something before all the questions start rolling in: I AM NOT IN THE CITY or a POPULAR residential area. See there no lions running around the gardens, there are no hippos swimming at the beach. I know I sound cynical but I cannot fathom the ignorance that some people still have when they think of Africa or Southern Africa to be exact. Yes we have real buildings and cars and even normal clothes. Now back to basics, so we get to see the most beautiful animals at the game reserve and have the most glorious green bushy areas around us. I will def be positing some photos as soon as I can. There is just so much beauty everywhere ts almost selfish to keep it to yourself.

The Above photo is of a Giraffe standing next to a tree it was previously grazing. The sun was setting and we were leaving, just managed to catch this. 

The Above photo: Everything is just so green and wonderful. I love it.

Well there is so much more to share with you and from now on, I will try my best to make daily or second daily updates as we go along.

Have fun, life's to short not to.

p.s. I REALLY appreciate people and fans who COMMENT, I LOVE feedback so please take 5minutes to do so:-) It can be anything, sharing your site, for me to look at or topic discussion on something I wrote about, or just a friendship building, so please do Comment and Contact me.