The Final Countdown

And so there I sat, well technically lay. On my bed. I had three painful hours to get through, but knew that even if I stopped watching the clock, my internal would not let me sleep. It’s a weird tradition, a strange event, an unusual feeling that happens to me once a year. It takes me back to being a kid and it brings back the memories of every passed year in which the same order of events have occurred.

As routine has now become I was listening to the local radio station. The last thing I expected was for the radio DJ to announce my name and wish me a pre-Happy Birthday. That was pretty cool even in my books, and yet I still have to wonder which of my friends, reminded them of the day I look forward to the most. My birthday.

I look forward to this day for some odd reason more than I look forward to anything else, sometimes I think it’s because of the attention I am allowed to claim or the fact that it’s my special day and no one else’s, like the right or deeds of night and day for 24 hours have been given solely to me, and in these 24hours I rule the realm in which we live. It is a good feeling.

Anyways so this year, obviously I’ve been so busy with work, I just didn’t plan anything; I also am so broke that planning anything would have been pointless. And so my housemates decided to plan for me. They had a bring and braai birthday celebration for me, on the evening of my birthday. It was amazing. There was good food, good people and many great memories made. And on top of it I got to play with a chameleon, a pregnant one who decided crawling all over me was not such a dangerous feat and that it would do so for a short period of time.

 It made my evening

Such a beautiful creature. I have never held one before, I am not even sure I’ve seen one in real life, even though there are many living on the tree’s surrounding our house here on the game reserve. But it just spoke to me, and it wasn’t threatened and I didn’t feel in danger so we bonded pretty quickly. It is a pity you can’t keep them as pets.

In other news, I have wedding’s coming out of my ears. We did one for almost 400pax that went as well as can be expected when:

-The guest list is composed of names like: Gogo 1, 2 and 3.

- When the groom and bride can’t make up their minds on whether they’re getting married or not, and where?

- When almost 400pax sneak in booze to the event and you’re left wondering how they got through security and what to do with at least 120 seriously drunk people?

So yes, it went as well as can be expected in such a situation.

This passed wedding however a day ago, was amazing! It was beautiful. The bride and groom were amazing, the guests were so joyful and helpful, excited and on top of things. It was only for 71pax, but it just ran with such ease, such confidence, such greatness. I loved it. The bride looked amazing, the flowers we’re beautiful, her colors were basically bush and brown tones and burn’t orange and when done well it works well. 

 Something along the lines of this.

So right now, I am drowning in people getting married, over time, work politics and that about sums it up! I will write soon, to catch everyone up on everything that’s been going on. It’s been an amazing ride so far!

Peace

XOXO

Another Long Walk to Freedom.....

Okay! 

So I haven't written for awhile. I know this is as disastrous as these situations can be right. Iv recently started a new job, and am having a wonderful amazing year. I did promise myself that this would be my year, and bam it is. The funny thing not everyone is on par with the success I am having the fact that I am finally doing well on my own. Iv let go 99% of the crutches and can stand on my own. Something Id expect people close to me to be pleased about? Not so. I'm not saying I'm expecting flowers every morning, and congratulation cards every months, but is it to selfish to ask for a well done, or a I'm proud of you? Seems so. When I realized this I guess I stopped expecting it, and moved on. I didn't expect it to put another nail in the proverbial coffin as to say.

People make mistakes, they learn and grow from these mistakes, well if they want to that is. I can't even begin to tell you how much of a mess the last 3 years of my life have been, and I'm willing to admit that 60% of the shit has been my own doing. The fact that I am open to admitting such and being honest about it, is a huge step for me. I'm not proud but I am honest and proud to be honest. And that is currently eating away at some people for what reason I have no idea. I guess sometimes, the crutches need the dependents more then the dependents realize they need them? Sorry for the tongue twister, I've been reading a lot of Nietzsche's work lately. A great man he was. Such a diabolical mind.

I mean really? A man with a stache like that, how can he not be that awesome?

This week has been rather emotional for me, emotions I am not generally used to. Realizing that I have to stand up to the one person who I have always backed down to. Realizing that for once I have to say what I have to, I have to do what I have to and I have to do it now. For once I am 100% innocent, not until proven guilty because there is no guilt in which to prove. Its funny how the more innocent you are the harder it is to fight the accusers? I would have thought that the light would immediately set you free. Not so much. Iv had to make one of those choices those very difficult choices, to stick to my guns for once in a while and unfortunately the people who have taught me that lesson are the people I am now currently going head to head with in a battle where no man, shall surrender. It's so pathetic. Pack away your pride your arrogance, your hate and admit, that you are wrong, you made a mistake as people do, you are human. Is it really that hard to let your name drop a notch, to prove to someone that you are possible of thinking of someone else rather than your own self?

Just a question I pose.......
Peace
xoxo